I feel...😊☹ 😄😍😢😠😘

I feel…

I've been talking to a number of people recently about feelings.  How do I feel?  How do you feel?  What is he feeling?  It's not something that comes natural to me...at least not for myself.  I may not be able to tell you what I'm feeling, but I can however, look at you or someone else and pretty much pinpoint exactly what you or they are feeling.  A gift or a curse?  not sure :)  lol

But what has struck me in the past few weeks or so is not just recognizing my own feelings but figuring out why i'm feeling that way.  It's been a little experiment of mine.  I'm feeling angry...but why?  This makes me sad - why?  I've been looking more deeply into why I'm feeling what I'm feeling.

Along those lines, and at this time of year - with all the traditions, busyness and love going around- I've also been struck at how an individual can create intense feelings in you.  Noe and I visited an elderly friend who is dying.  She talked with us quite a while, then Noe prayed for her.  It was a great visit and her attitude was just amazing.  Her faith could move mountains.  I was fine up until Noe finished praying.  Immediately after he finished, she interrupts him and says - "ok!  now stop.  I'm going to pray for you!"  Which is exactly what she did.  I can't begin to describe the feelings that her prayer invoked in me.  The peace, love, faith, strength...just amazing.  For someone who is dying, to take the time to pray for you...?  It's very humbling.  One thing she said in her prayer that I won't forget...because of the image it brought to my mind - "God, I can't wait until I get to heaven so I can sit on your lap and get a few hugs."  Amazing, right.

I felt strengthened…

Then there are friends that surprise you and cause feelings you weren't expecting.  That come out of no where to help or encourage you right when you need it most.  Family members that text they are praying for you, at exactly the right time.

I felt loved…

Animals, nature, God's creation - can all bring about feelings you don't normally feel.  We just got a new puppy...and as annoying as that little bark is when I leave the room cause she can't get to me; it does give you that feeling of contentment.

I felt needed…

When we decorated our Christmas tree and put up ornaments that I had made when I was little, that had pictures of my kids as babies, and our "just married" ornament...

I felt nostalgic…

I went out shopping to get a few things for my family for Christmas.  We haven't always been able to buy what we wanted for each other or our kids.

I felt blessed…

As my kids get older and turn into preteens, I realize they don't want me around as much and that i'm not as cool ;) But when my youngest asks me to volunteer in her classroom for her Christmas party and then actually comes up to me during the party and gives me a hug and says hi...

I felt joy…

There are a lot of feelings circulating around during Christmas.  Not all of them are rainbows and unicorns.  People feel loss.  They feel sadness.  They feel lonely.  If you feel any of those things, (or I should say, when you feel any of those things,) remember that there is something that can't be taken away from you.  There is most definitely pain, struggles and remorse in life and those feelings won't go away in just a few seconds.  They take time.  And work.  And a willingness to move forward.
But the reason we celebrate Christmas isn't to be with family, or to make the best cookies or plan the perfect party and have the best friends.  Those are all super fantastic and icing on the cake, but they aren't what makes Christmas special.  Our friend who is very sick and may not make it to Christmas reminded us of this.  In what we would expect to be the most difficult and terrifying moment of her life - a time when we expect her to be mad, or hurt or distraught beyond words - she instead wanted to remind us, that Jesus is the reason for the season :)

Jesus gave up his heavenly body and his place next to God.  And God gave up his only son.  Jesus left all the wonders in Heaven to come down to be with us...as a baby.  Meek, humble and helpless.  Just like us.  Bask in that.  Relish it.  That God loved us so much that He gave us his only Son.  No matter what your feelings are this Christmas...make sure one of them, on Christmas morning, is AWE.  Set time aside to feel it and experience it - whatever that looks like for you.  Don't dwell on the kids crying, the inlaws fighting, the sadness or ache in your heart because there is an empty chair that shouldn't be there...go ahead and feel it but then move on.  Pull out your Bible and re-read the story.  Read it out loud and pause as you take in the wonderful oddness of it all.  The virgin, the stable, the wise men.  Make sure and let yourself feel the moment...

I feel wonder…

Merry Christmas and God bless