Thursday, February 17, 2022

Taking it for granted

 

When I graduated from college, I spent 3 years in the "workforce" before I went on a mission trip to Iquitos, Peru one summer with my church.  The trip, in a nutshell, changed my life.  I felt called to leave my job, house, friends, and family to go back to Peru to work.  Two months turned into six, six months turned into a year, etc.  I ended up staying in Peru for almost 3 years before unexpectedly having to go back to the US to get married and live...but that's a different story.  :)

Obviously, those almost 3 years in Peru changed my life as well - and not just getting a husband lol.  I grew up in a middle class family where I never "needed" for anything.  I was very blessed.  I never had to think about food, shelter, clothes, etc.  This is wonderful and I am very thankful for my parents and all they provided for me.  The downfall of this lifestyle is that it sometimes creates in us the inability to see beyond it.  Let's face it, the majority of people in the US and the world, do not have the privilege of such a life.  Relating to someone who is NOT in the same position as you, is very difficult.  We can sympathize, we can help, we can listen - but we can't truly understand.  Is this a bad thing?  In a way, yes.  It causes us to be insensitive to others without meaning to.  It causes us to place a higher value on some things that need to be placed lower.  And it causes us to stress about things that don't really matter in the long run.  Being first in your class, not making the team, not getting the promotion...none of those really matter when you consider the alternative - not being able to go to school, not having any sports teams to try out for, not having a job.  Everyone's background is different.  Everyone's experiences are different.  Always having your needs met is a wonderful thing - yet it also puts you at a disadvantage.

While living in Peru 20 years ago this became very evident to me - and I chose then to try and always be cognizant of it.  I fail miserably all the time, but I do try.  Living in a community where hot water is extravagant, bank accounts for "savings" are almost non-existent, and being able to buy children's books for your kids means you're wealthy, puts things into perspective.  In a good way.  For years, after we moved back to the US in 2003, every time I did a load of laundry I would look at the machine and thank God that I wasn't having to wash my clothes by hand anymore.  Being without, helps you appreciate what you have.  But is that enough?  I guess that depends.  Now that we are back in Peru, these learnings and musings from the last time I lived here have crept back into my thoughts.  They had lain dormant for a while.  I'm glad they're back.  It makes me a more understanding person.  And this time, we have kids here.  It takes on a whole new meaning now because I want to provide for my kids while at the same time help them understand that "needing" something is normal.  In some ways, I feel spoiled here.  We have hot water.  We have wifi.  We all have laptops so we can work (and play).   It's certainly different from the last time I lived here!  But the old feelings are returning.  I do appreciate many things (again) that I had started taking for granted.  Now that we no longer have access to a lot of luxuries in the US - I appreciate what I do have access to.  Although I do miss certain things about the US, I also love so many things here.  It's so good to be reminded that we are not our money.  We are not our things.  And our life doesn't have meaning because of these things.  

One thing I really wanted when we moved here to Peru, was for my kids to understand this feeling.  This realization. I wanted them to understand that there is so much more than what we had in the US.  I wanted them to understand what it feels like to be a minority.  I wanted them to see other cultures, that are different than what they're used to, with respect and hopefully love.  I wanted them to see people, and children, living differently and think - this is beautiful.  I don't know how much they're learning, but I catch glimpses every now and then.  They'll say something that makes me think they've grown.  One of them made me chuckle yesterday because they said - I bet the kids here would be really surprised at the automatic doors in all our stores. :)  I hadn't thought about it or noticed it - but there are no automatic doors anywhere here.  Small thing to notice, and not a big deal, but I was pleasantly surprised that these little things are being thought about.  Because noticing these little things means they're beginning to understand the bigger picture.  That it really doesn't matter.  Luxuries are just that - luxuries.  Yes, that child has only 2 outfits to wear, but he doesn't care.  Why?  Because it doesn't matter.  Having 20 outfits to wear to school doesn't make you a better person.  It doesn't simplify your life.  It doesn't even make it easier.  Having a relatively clean pair of clothes so you can go to school and learn?  That matters.  

The challenge, of course, is not falling back into a rut once you've come to this realization.  The "rut" of taking things for granted once we're back in the US.  The "rut" of complaining about the little things instead of thanking God for them.  And the "rut" of not allowing yourself to feel guilt when you see all that you have.  

I think about how things will be different when we get back to the states.  How will we, as a family, approach things like finding a school, buying a house, and even now - job hunting.  How will the kids view things differently?  Will the stressors they experienced before we left still be there?  Or will they look at it all with a different perspective?  I pray that this time we're spending in Peru will keep that spark going in me that helps me see life as it is - and not how I hope it could be.   And I pray that all the little things we miss right now - supermarkets, Target, shoes that fit, speaking English with teachers, Mexican food - we'll appreciate even more when we return.  And that the appreciation doesn't fade with time...but only grows stronger.  

Amen.

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