Almost 16 years ago, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy after having an extremely difficult and stressful pregnancy. I wrote a blogpost about the experience as I knew God's hands were all over it. I wanted to share my beautiful experience with everyone. I wrote the blogpost while reliving the miraculous moments leading up to it. To fully understand my story, I invite you to go read it and then come back to this one.
God was with me before, during, and after. It was (and is) such a wonderful story that I love sharing again and again. But I learned a few years after publishing it that the story would have had a different ending had we lived in a state with restrictive laws for women. This year, my beautiful baby boy is turning 16. And to think back and relive that story in this current time of suppression honestly breaks my heart, but it also scares me. It hurts me to think that this God moment in my life wouldn't happen now in many states - including my own. It is heartbreaking to think that women going through what I went through, may not survive and could lose their baby. I want my story to be theirs.
And why? Why could this scenario have a totally different outcome? I'll do my best to explain. In a nutshell, it's because "pro-lifers" believe that women and their doctors aren't capable of decisions that concern their own bodies.
In many abortion banned states (for years), there has been an exception included in abortion laws that say women can have abortions if their lives are at stake. Well, that's not exactly true. It's not true, because these laws were not written by doctors and OBGYNs. They were written by lawmakers. It never dawned on me that my situation had anything to do with abortion. These lawmakers include "ifs" and "buts" to the above statement. Women can have life saving surgery while pregnant IF ...
For example, in Texas, it reads, "unless the pregnant patient is facing “a life-threatening physical condition aggravated by, caused by, or arising from a pregnancy." In addition, "A physician who performs or induces an abortion under circumstances described by Subsection (a) shall make written notations in the pregnant woman’s medical record of: (1) the physician ’s belief that a medical emergency necessitated the abortion; and (2) the medical condition of the pregnant woman that prevented compliance with this subchapter." In other words, name the issue. Name the cause. Prove it.
In my case, the doctor couldn't do that. She walked into my room while I was in pain and said, "We can't see what's wrong unless we cut you open." We both knew surgery was the only option at that point. We both knew I needed it, but she could not have "named" my condition that warranted surgery. Basically, my surgery was an "exploratory surgery". There was a very strong possibility that my baby could've died during the surgery - and my OBGYN was very clear with me on that. If the fetus died, if something happened to me and the doctor had to decide who to save, IF...(and on and on). No doctor in their right mind would risk such a thing right now in these states (Texas just passed a trigger law stating life imprisonment for doctors performing abortions), as they would be facing a decade or more in prison, losing their license, or crazily enough, death (yes, some states are seeking the death penalty).
Another "exception to the rule" is this one - like in Oklahoma: A woman may have an abortion when pregnant IF the doctor shows the woman's life is at stake by suffering "irreversible impairment of a major bodily function". Again, my doctor could not have done this. We had no idea what exactly was wrong until she cut me open and fixed everything. After she performed the surgery she came to see me. It was just she and I in the room. I had just woken up from sedation and she explained to me that the cyst had rotated itself around the ovary and tube two times. Had it rotated one more time, she said, all my reproductive organs on the right side would've exploded - killing my baby instantly, and depending on how quickly I received surgery, me as well. She said I had probably 1 maybe 2 weeks left before that happened. I had 1-2 weeks left before my baby died, and most likely me. She didn't know this before the surgery. She had to DO the surgery first to find out what was causing the pain. There is no way she would take that chance now in my state because of our 12 week ban. What would have happened? She would have walked into that room while I was curled up in the fetal position moaning in pain and said, "We can't seen what is wrong on the ultrasound so we need to run a few more tests. We need to see if your fetus' life or your life is in danger." And that would've have been the end. No discussion. No asking of my opinion. No offering of choices. How do I know this would have happened? Because it is what is happening now.
In almost every abortion banned state, doctors must get unanimous permission from their hospital board. They must submit their claim in writing to the board and everyone (or at least 2 in some states), have to agree that the woman's life is at stake.
(**see links below to read articles and listen to doctors talking about the terrible positions they're being put in)
Learning this didn't upset me at the time. It didn't upset me because I knew God's hand was in this whole story. I knew it was a story I would retell over and over to show people how God's peace overflows in our lives when we most need it. God was with me and no matter if my baby survived or not, I was at peace. What upset me was learning later that there are people in our country that think they have the right to play God in my life and my baby's life. They think that their vote matters more than God's. These people could have changed my story of hope and peace into a story of trauma, or tragedy, or even worse - death. Had they had their way, my baby would've died and more than likely, me. But God saved me from them. I was in a state where surgery was allowed with NO exceptions. Where a doctor can make an informed decision withOUT the rules and regulations from the government. Where politicians aren't in your hospital room with you and your doctors. Ultimately, God saved me from pro-lifers.
I need you to understand how upsetting this is. And I need you to see how wrong this is. Every "pro life" person I meet argues with me on this point. No, you're wrong, women can have surgeries if their life is at stake. No, they can't. Not anymore. These pro lifers don't understand the laws they are voting for. They don't understand that the lawmakers they vote for always include a "but". That's the scariest part. So I wanted to share my story to educate them. So they would know. But please understand that this isn't just MY story. It's yours. It's your mother's, your sister's, your friend's, your daughter's. It could happen to anyone you know...and it is.
I'm not a leftist. I don't "vote blue" down the ballot. And this isn't a left vs right issue. I've voted for every party out there at some time or another based on the candidate. I'm also a Christian. But I will NEVER, ever again in my lifetime, vote for a candidate that doesn't support my right to choose and my right to live. I don't care what party they are in, they will never get my vote. NO ONE can tell me that I don't have the right to a surgery that I need. And when people argue this point with me, it's a slap in the face. It shows they don't care about me. They don't care about my situation. They don't care about my baby. Yet they claim to love God...the same God that saved me and my baby from them. Recently, someone that I know who is a Christian was arguing abortion with me. After I told them my story, they said, "I knew something must have happened to you personally for you to have that strong of an opinion." Yes it did. But that's not why I have a strong opinion. If this story had happened to you, and not me, I would still be outraged. And if my personal story doesn't upset you just as much, it's hard for me to see you as my friend, much less a Christian. My story IS YOUR story. We are all children of God. That is what being Christ-like is all about. If my life, and the lives of every other woman out there in this situation, means so little to you, how do you claim to live a Godly life?
If you're thinking my situation is rare...well, I have two responses. One, who cares? I don't care if it only happens every ten years to one woman, that woman has the right to live along with her child. Period. Two, you'd be mistaken. There are 70,000 women every YEAR in the US that require some kind of surgery when pregnant - from appendectomies, to ectopic pregnancies, to cancer, to broken bones, to fetal anomalies. Every single one of those women who live in a red state, now has to understand that their surgery may not be allowed. If the doctor can't name it or prove they'll die from it, there is no way the doctor would risk their life and livelihood to perform it.
It pains me to think how beautiful my story was and how it was such a powerful God moment in my life. It pains me because if it happened now, there would be a different ending. I know many, many republican voters. I used to be one. Not ONE of them thinks abortion should be illegal. Not one. They know it's needed. They understand there are exceptions. So friends, why are you voting against what you believe? Why have you been voting against what you believe? You have put me and every other woman in a very dangerous, life-threatening position. STOP. STOP voting for politicians who are a threat to women's lives and their baby's. STOP voting against what you believe. Everyone is pro life and everyone wants to prevent unwanted pregnancies. Banning abortion is NOT the answer and you know this. So STOP. STOP letting politics get in the way of your faith and what you know is right. For the love of God, women, and babies everywhere, please start voting as a Christian and not a Republican. The lives of my daughter, your daughters, our granddaughters, and great-granddaughters depend on it.
In Christ,
Laurie
**read these (centered) articles and watch these videos to see the terrible decisions doctors and families are having to make
18 survivors tell their stories
OBGYNs are having to make very difficult life and death decisions with one hand tied behind their backs. They aren't standing for it and they're fleeing their abortion banned states. Every abortion banned state now has as least half of its counties as "maternal healthcare deserts". What does this mean? It means not one OBGYN or birthing center in their county.
Sadly, the top 10 states with the highest maternal mortality rates are almost all abortion banned states. This is not a coincidence. These states ranked higher than countries like El Salvador, Kyrgyzstan, and Mongolia, Mexico, and Iraq.
Now currently 22 women in TX suing their state because they almost died.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_P5tX3WxkM
(very good explanation of what I referred to but this was posted in 2021 and things have gotten stricter/worse since then) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zjB5Jakytyc
shortage of doctors article:
https://fortune.com/2022/06/24/roe-v-wade-supreme-court-ruling-obgyn-doctor-shortage/
left leaning article but data doesn't lie:
https://www.politico.com/news/2022/08/22/doctors-abortion-state-capitals-00052946
"Data show the country has the worst maternal mortality rate in the developed world, in part due to a severe shortage of OB-GYNs. Half of U.S. counties have no OB-GYN, forcing patients to travel tens — or sometimes hundreds — of miles to receive care."
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other Sources:
https://www.scstatehouse.gov/CommitteeInfo/HouseAdHocDobbsVsJackson/5399%20Ad%20Hoc%20Recommendations%20-%20Finalized.pdf
https://intermountainhealthcare.org/ckr-ext/Dcmnt?ncid=520782026#:~:text=Is%20surgery%20during%20pregnancy%20safe%3F&text=or%20preterm%20labor%20is%20less%20than%20at%20other%20times%20in%20your%20pregnancy.&text=year%2C%20approximately%2075%2C000%20women%20in,have%20surgery%20during%20their%20pregnancies.
https://www.texastribune.org/2022/08/25/texas-trigger-law-abortion/
https://capitol.texas.gov/tlodocs/87R/billtext/pdf/SB00008H.pdf
https://oklahoma.gov/content/dam/ok/en/health/health2/aem-documents/data-and-statistics/center-for-health-statistics/induces-termination-of-pregnancy/oklahoma-abortion-statutes.pdf
